“Me? In public, wearing women’s clothing? I’m content just dressing at home as I have the chance, but I have absolutely no desire to wear women’s clothing IN PUBLIC, where I will be laughed at and scorned! No Way! Not Me! But then it would be nice if I had a wig I could wear occasionally, and had some makeup knowledge, and had more than an hour or so to dress, just once in awhile…but I’m only dreaming, so I guess I’ll just dress when I can.” Yeah, right! Those were my thoughts until early 2003, and even though my ideas and thoughts about cross-dressing had not changed, I had purchased a long blonde wig, was beginning to acquire a wardrobe, and cautiously dabbling a little with makeup.
In March, I discovered the Tri-Ess web site, and links to the chapters, and even though I knew I was not alone, I found support. I joined, and almost immediately was contacted by the nearest local chapter, and the local first contact. A meeting was arranged, and unknown to me at the time, a lady known as Katherine Susannah was about to come out of her closet. We met as arranged. We were both in boy mode, and there we were – two complete strangers, at noon, sitting on a bench near the food court in the local mall, getting to know one another. We talked for nearly an hour, and my nervousness and apprehension lessened as the time passed. We had never met prior to this, except via e-mail, and a phone conversation. Even in boy mode, he is very good at helping one relax and get over any nervousness one might have. Can you imagine it? Here I am, a guy and a cross-dresser with no desire to be dressed in public, talking to another cross-dresser about my innermost secret, out loud, and in a very public place where I can be overheard!
The next scheduled Sigma Mu Chapter meeting was April 12, and of course, I was invited to attend. I logged into the chat session the Tuesday evening after my meeting and met another girl or two. I asked the usual questions, I suppose, about times, dress code, do you have to be dressed, (very important to me – I was absolutely positively certain, beyond any doubt, whatsoever, there was no way I would go to this meeting dressed, if I would ever dress for a chapter meeting!) The next Tuesday evening chat session, I mentioned something about my nails. They are very flexible, have numerous ridges, constantly crack, chip, and split, and keep me busy with a file and clippers almost constantly. One of the girls jumped right on that, and asked if I had ever considered false nails – acrylics to be exact. Well, no, I had not, really, but if I was to have them, they would have to be as NATURAL LOOKING AS POSSIBLE, BE NEATLY TRIMMED TO A NICE MALE LENGTH, etc., etc., etc. The end result? She offered to do my nails for me, if I would arrive at the motel she would be staying at about noon on the 12th of April, and oh, by the way, if I wanted to dress I could change in her motel room and she would help with my makeup. The next chat session, I told her I would attend the April 12th meeting. I would be there about noon so there would be time to do nails, and yes, I had reluctantly made the decision to dress. I would be out of town and didn’t know anyone – more important, no one would know ME - and I might as well do it right. Unfortunately, at this point, my plans to attend very nearly stopped. I was told the meeting would not be at the regular meeting place, but at the Argentina Steak House, in an upstairs private dining room!
“OUT in public? Not me! Not in front of strangers, even if they are also cross-dressers! And especially not dressed in PUBLIC for my first time ever, in the presence of others!” Some thought followed, and I decided, “After all, if I’m going to be dressed in front of others for the first time, why not go all out and also be in view of THE GENERAL PUBLIC, for the very first time?”
About noon, April 12th, I entered the parking lot at the motel my mentor was staying at, and drove around to her room. As I backed my van into a parking space across the lot from her room, she bounced out the door, dressed very tastefully of course, - she always is - and gave me a big, girly wave! By this time I felt that I was really committed (or needed to be committed! What am I doing here?). After we exchanged hugs and the van was unloaded, she went after ice and we poured ourselves a soft drink, and the nail job began. The door was open for fresh air, and the window curtains were open. What a sight – a gal doing nails on a guy. We both thought we were probably made as being gay when a gentleman gazed through the window, and then went on his way.
A couple of hours later, when my nails were done and the polish was drying on MY NICE, PRETTY, LONG,FEMININE NAILS, she closed the door and curtains, then announced that I was about to see what only one other crossdresser had seen (the male behind the makeup), removed her wig, and began to touch up her makeup. When my nails were dry, I got dressed, she helped with my makeup, and suddenly, it was time to go the other motel, where a couple and another new girl and were staying. OK, Katherine, the time of reckoning is here. What are you going to do – stay in the room, slam the door, hurriedly change clothes and remove your makeup, and head for home, all the time wondering, “What was I doing? What was I thinking?” - or precede your new friend out the door, attempt to walk gracefully to her car and get in? I took a deep breath, walked out the door, walked the twenty feet or so to the passenger’s door of her car, opened it, and (I hoped) in a very lady-like manner, got in. There were people outside who saw me leave the room, walk to the car, and get in! No one paid any attention at all, laughed at me, or ridiculed me! The first obstacle was successfully completed!
At the motel where the others were, we were able to park in front of their door so getting to the room wasn’t difficult. Once inside, I met the other three. The two expereienced ladies soon left to go over to the Argentina Steak House for the Directors Meeting, and I stayed with the wife and the new girl. The three of us got along very well, and soon it was time to go to the Argentina. We left the room, got in the car, and went to the steak house. Second obstacle – she parked around the corner from the entrance, so now I had to walk about 100 feet, in heels, and in plain sight of other people. I completed this obstacle with no mishap, but..! Uh, oh, the stairs to the upstairs meeting room are inside, and about fifteen feet from the door, and very close to the restrooms, and there are about a million people in the lobby, and they are looking at us (Hyperventilate! Gulp! Suck it in, girl, and go on)! When I finally reached the stairs about a thousand years later, I realized I had never climbed stairs in heels before, but somehow I managed, and another obstacle was behind me. When I found my seat at the table I discovered our waiter/bartender knew we were all crossdressers, as did the Manager! Trust the girl who arranged this to cover everything, and try to eliminate some concerns for the new girls, and for the one or two others who might still be uncomfortable in public.
After a nice meal, our guest speaker of the evening arrived. It was one of the local Police Forces' finest, who gave us a very nice talk – crossdressing isn’t illegal, use extreme caution in the rest rooms, and if dressed, use the women’s, go in, do your thing, wash, get out, and so on! He had a question or two for the ladies – “Are you gay?” “What do your wives think?” etc. Honest answers were given, and he admitted that we were not what he expected, even in a private dining room at a Steak House. He mentioned his experience with CD’s is on the street, and they are usually druggies, gay, and dress very sluttish. He was impressed with us, and hopefully, told his fellow policemen about the nice, well dressed, heterosexual crossdressers he gave a talk to. Afterward, there were pictures taken of everyone, even me! My very first picture cross-dressed!
All too soon, everything was over, and it was time to leave and head for home, two hours away. I decided to drive home dressed - after all, it is 10 pm, and who can see you after dark in a vehicle, anyway? I left the WELL-LIT parking lot at the motel, drove onto the WELL-LIT street, got onto the WELL-LIT expressway, and headed home. Sure enough, it happened. When it was time to exit the interstate at my WELL-LIT exit, I chickened out at the thought of driving in my town, dressed in women’s clothing, down a WELL-LIT thoroughfare, at 12:30 am! I drove to the next exit, which isn’t lit, exited, and took the dark back road home.
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